Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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