Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
