I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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