My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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