i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
