just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
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