The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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