So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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