I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
