watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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