he thought i was a dude.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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