She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
