i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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