Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
