as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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