Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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