I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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