Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
