Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
