You're completely useless in the revolution.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
