i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
