last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
