who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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