whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
