You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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