we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
How does one acquire holy water?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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