i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
