am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
