i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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