Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
operation have a gay friend backfired
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
