so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
