I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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