Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
