so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
