You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
