I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
