She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
