It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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