do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
