You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm always down for nudity.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
