You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
