is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
