i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
