Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
