We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
