Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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