This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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