In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
