I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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