Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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