Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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