high people should be assigned attendants
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
two words: eviction party
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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