How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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