you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
