I think my vagina is haunted
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
