omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
