Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
