Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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