paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
This is the high leading the old right now
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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