Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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