I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize